The Revengeful Mind

Have you ever thought of taking revenge on a lover that broke your heart? How about the guys that bullied you at school, has the thought ever occurred to you? Be really honest with yourself, take a moment to reflect on it...

Here we'll explore the revengeful mind or mental state. The post will shed light on the following questions:

Why do we seek revenge? What does it feel like to plan a revenge? What propels us beyond the stage of planning? Is revenge truly satisfying, or does it give rise to lasting guilt and shame? Finally, is it evil to be revengeful?

Let us start out with the causes of revenge. We will carefully examine the seeds or impulses that triggers it.

Seeking Revenge

If I were to tell you, "You're really ugly." How would you react? Think it over for a moment.

The sense of self: I, me and myself feel threatened. Another word for it is the ego. When someone tells you that you are ugly, you feel hurt because we all want to be appreciated and loved. Hence, we totally reject it.

It is truly hurtful, thus our reaction is really strong. One could say, that whenever the ego is threatened, it is extremely personal. It doesn't get more personal than that. As a result, the insult fuels anger, hatred and evil.

Keep in mind that some individuals are more sensitive than others, or phrased differently, some individuals have bigger egos than others.

The same thing would happen if you are fired from your job, bullied or discriminated because of your race, religion, sexual orientation, disability or obesity. It is so personal, that it makes for an explosive reaction.

Now, the seeds or impulses that call forth revenge are feelings and thoughts. Thinking that it is wrong and unfair, and therefore feeling badly hurt. Feelings and thoughts are powerful forces at work in the body and mind. Forces that are difficult to control, especially when you have been provoked.

If someone keeps telling you that you are ugly, your ego or sense of self, will feel so threatened that it becomes challenging to contain the anger and hatred towards the bully.

That brings us to the stage of planning.

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Revenge Planning

Soon after the ego has been threatened or seriously hurt, you start to plot your vengeance. This is fueled by anger, hatred and evil. Even the sweetest child can be transformed into a ruthless killer, when provoked over and over again.

Planning how to strike back, is most satisfying. It makes you feel energized and alive. The planning can go on for months or even years. Dwelling on it is similar to daydreaming. Again, it is ultimately fueled by a burning sensation of hatred.

It is important to point out, that often the revenge is much more cruel and severe than what caused it. That is because the ego, or the sense of self, has been badly hurt, which puts you in touch with hatred and evil, deep within. Active or not, darkness is a fundamental part of the human mind.

How about being fired from work as the company goes bankrupt. In the days to come, you plan to burn down your boss's house. Or, you plot to kill your lover and her family, after she has broken up with you over the phone. As you can tell, revenge is like playing with fire.

Vengeance is not always that extreme. If your classmates call you Stingy, because you have an old mobile phone, you probably dwell on what names to call them. The unpleasantries may never escalate beyond the verbal level.

Most of us rarely go past the stage of planning. Why is that? Morality or our sense of what is good and right, stops us.

However, if you have been pushed to the brink, that is to say, your ego has been seriously hurt over and over again. Then, the awakened hatred and evil, give rise to a strong thirst for revenge. That mental state, is very difficult to control.

Executing your plan is likely to make you feel intensely alive. Furthermore, the hatred and evil are blinding, thus, you may not even realize that your actions are bad and wrong. You are simply too identified with what you are doing.

Revenge Satisfaction

Just how satisfying is it to have taken revenge? Let's say that you burned down your boss's house, while literally bathing in hatred and evil. Your feelings and thoughts grew so intense, while planning your vengeance, that you eventually lost touch with common sense altogether.

I can't imagine that spending days in court and years in prison, would make for any satisfaction. On the contrary, I would be soaking in guilt and shame. How can you face your family and friends after having been convicted of arson?

The only satisfaction is the vibrant aliveness, we experience while planning and carrying out the vengeance. What is more, we may mistake the aliveness as a sign of justification. In other words, we believe we are doing the right thing.

Here is an exception. Gang members are often murdered by rival gangs, which is followed by vengeance. Without a doubt, after a successful strike, the gangsters experience short-lived satisfaction. Even though killing is a fundamental part of gang culture, their minds are still plagued by guilt and shame.

Is Revenge Evil?

I let you answer that question.

A skillful reminder. Always do what is good and right.

Don't entertain feelings and thoughts that have anything to do with anger, hatred or evil.

Best of luck!

Related:   Irritation And Anger   Bullied   Love And Hate

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