Learning To Apologize

I don't know about you, but I've made many mistakes in my life. If only I could, I would undo all of them. What if it were possible to change what we have done wrong, what would top your list? Take a moment to think about it.

Why do we hurt others' feelings and lie to those who are close to us? What's the cause of that kind of behavior?

Instead of thinking first, we tend to do it the wrong way around and without even considering the consequences. Another factor that many a time trigger meaningless actions are emotions such as anger and sexual desire.

Guilt And Shame

There are many reasons for wanting to change the past and guilt is one of them. It's a natural result of wrongdoings and no matter whether you lie to a close friend or say something that hurts your husband's feelings, guilt is as unpleasant to live with as disappointment and depression.

Shame is another reason for wanting to change the past. Perhaps you were arrested for snorting cocaine at a friend's party and whenever you get back to work, you wish the whole thing was just a bad dream.

Learning From Mistakes

We can learn a lot about life from our good and bad experience. In that respect, we never stop learning about ourselves, others and life itself.

I would like to emphasize an important point before we dig any deeper into human nature, namely the fact that we have to make serious effort to learn from our mistakes.

Let's keep this acquired wisdom fresh in mind and put it to work as often as possible. This way, we can avoid hiccups in the future.

Now, it's ok to make mistakes, that's part of life. But let's not carry the heavy burden of guilt and shame round with us. Whatever it is that you've done wrong, free yourself from the chains.


There are many ways of apologizing. As a rule of thumb, a casual apology is fine for minor wrongdoings, while it takes a more sincere apology to match a major one. You're the sole judge when it comes to deciding how to apologize.

Now, if you're unsure of which approach to take, aim high and go down the path of goodwill. It's better to be too sincere than too casual.

The Casual Apology

Let's keep our feet firmly planted on the ground and not forget that we've actually done something wrong. So, no matter how-minor-an-issue it may be let's make it sound like an apology.

In my opinion, this kind of apology could be done in the form of a note, sms, email, letter, phone call or by meeting face to face. As a golden rule, a phone call is more personal than the first options while meeting in person is the best way about it.

What you say or write is important, but even more so, how you say it. Admit your guilt and don't make any excuses. Deep inside, we all know what is right and wrong, so let's be honest and sensitive in our approach.

The Sincere Apology

No one has ever said and meant that it's easy to ask for forgiveness. It isn't and perhaps this is the price we pay to shake the whole thing off our shoulders. Feeling nervous and unsure about ourselves in the process, make us feel really alive.

A well-written email, letter or phone call can do the job as long as you're really honest and sensitive about what you write. If you really mean it, say you'll try your very best to avoid making the same mistake over again and ask if you could change in any way to make things better.

As far as sincere apologies go, they should preferably be done face to face while a phone call is your second best choice.

Honesty And Sensitivity

It takes two to tango, the one who has made the mistake lives with guilt about what she has done wrong, while the other person feels angry and hurt about what has happened.

It's as unpleasant to feel guilty about what you have done wrong, as it is to feel like you have been knocked around.

The person who has been ill-treated expects you to show some respect. So, by apologizing and talking it over in an honest and sensitive way, we can accept what happened for what it is, and move on. This way everyone involved feels relieved.

The Power Of Truth

The truth is a powerful tool and whenever we are honest about what we say and do, the truth works for us. Perhaps you don't expect a friend to forgive you after all the things you have done wrong, but as you go round and apologize with good intent, she may appreciate you earnest efforts and forgive you.

So, put an end to guilt and shame. It's noble to admit mistakes and to say you're sorry. Living your life this way, makes for happiness and wellbeing...

Best of luck!

Related:   Letting Go   Admitting Mistakes   Feelings Of Guilt

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