Learning To Apologize

I don't know about you, but I've made many mistakes in my life. If only I could, I would have them all undone. What if it were possible to change what we've done wrong in the past, what would top your list? Take a moment to think about it...

Why do we hurt others' feelings and lie to those who are close to us? What is the cause of this kind of behavior? Instead of thinking first, we tend to do it the wrong way around and do things without thinking of the potential consequences. Another factor that many-a-time trigger meaningless actions are emotions such as anger.

Guilt And Shame

There are many reasons for wanting to change the past and guilt is one of them. It's a natural result of wrongdoings and no matter whether you lie to a close friend or say something that hurt your husband's feelings, guilt is as unpleasant to live with as disappointment and depression.

Shame is another reason for wanting to change the past. Perhaps you got arrested for snorting cocaine at a friend's party and whenever you get back to work - you wish the whole thing were just a bad dream.

Learning From Mistakes

We can learn a lot about life from our good and bad experience. In that respect, we never stop learning about ourselves, others and life itself.

I would like to emphasize an important point before we dig any deeper into human nature, namely that we have to make serious effort to learn from our mistakes and let's keep this acquired wisdom fresh in mind and put it to work as often as possible - this way, we can avoid unnecessary hiccups along the way.

Now, it's ok to make mistakes - that's part of life. But let's not carry the heavy burdens of guilt and shame round with us. Whatever it is that you've done wrong, free yourself from the chains...

Apologizing

There are many ways of apologizing. As a rule of thumb, a casual apology is fine for most minor wrongdoings, while it takes a more sincere apology to match a major one. You're the sole judge when it comes to deciding what form of apology is most appropriate. Now, if you're unsure of which approach to take, aim high and go down the path of goodwill - it's better to be too sincere than too casual.

The Casual Apology

Let's keep our feet firmly planted on the ground and not forget that we've actually done something wrong. So, no matter how minor the issue may be let's make it sound like an apology.

In my opinion, an apology of this kind could be done in the form of a note, sms, email, letter, phone call or by meeting face to face. As a golden rule, a phone call is more personal than the first four options while meeting in person is the best way about it.

What you write or say is important, but even more so, it's how you say it. Really apologize. Deep inside, we all know what's right and wrong - so let's be honest and sensitive in what we say and do.

Sincere Apologies

No one has ever said and meant that it's easy to ask for forgiveness. It isn't and perhaps this is the price we have to pay in order to shake the whole thing off our shoulders. Feeling nervous and unsure about ourselves in the process, make us feel really alive.

A well-written email, letter or phone call can do the job as long as you're really honest and sensitive about what you say or write. If you really mean it, say that you'll try your very best to avoid making the same mistake over again and ask if you could change in any way to make things better.

As far as sincere apologies are concerned, they should preferably be done face to face while a phone call is your second best choice.

Honesty And Sensitivity

It takes two to tango, one that's done something wrong and one that's been mistreated. The person who's made the mistake lives with guilt about what she's done while the other individual feels angry or bad about what's happened. It's as unpleasant to feel guilty about what you've done wrong as it is to feel like you've been knocked about.

The person who's been ill-treated wants you to show some respect. So, by apologizing and talking it over in an honest and sensitive light, we can accept what's happened for what it is and start anew - this way everyone involved feels relieved.

The Power Of Truth

The truth is a powerful tool and whenever we're honest about what we say and do - the power of truth works for us. Perhaps you don't expect a friend to forgive you after all the bad things you've done to her, but as you go round and apologize with good intent - she may appreciate you earnest efforts and forgive you.

So, put an end to the negative effects of wrongdoings by apologizing. It's noble to admit mistakes and to say that you're sorry about what you've done. Living your life this way, makes for ease and happiness...

Best of luck!