Criticizing And Condemning

In this post we'll take a look at why we so often criticize and condemn others and how to change the negative habit.

Many a time we're unwilling to accept life the way it is. For example, someone at an office gets promoted and recognized for her hard work. That is likely to give rise to a lot of envy, anger and frustration among the colleagues.

My point is that it's human nature to resist life and reality. When I say, "It's harder to love than to hate," you probably won't agree with me because it sounds unflattering and ugly.

Even though it's not true, it feels better to say, "It's easier to love than to hate."

Why We Criticize And Condemn

What are you trying to achieve with your criticism?

That's a good question to ask yourself, because most of the time we don't criticize to improve the situation or solve problems. Often times it's envy, jealousy, anger and frustration that trigger the condemning.

Spewing out negativity is a way to ventilate anger and frustration. The anger makes you feel really alive so you can go on and on for hours, but it won't do much good. Since negativity breeds negativity, it will never improve the situation or solve any problem.

Constructive criticism on the other hand, can help solve problems and change the world for the better. With good intent you can achieve a lot.

Self-Awareness Reduces Negativity

Become aware of your own shortcomings and accept that nobody is perfect. It's better to be too forgiving than to seek out faults in everything and everyone - which only generates negativity.

Choose your words carefully when you criticize someone or something. It hurts to be criticized, so don't get carried away. Afterwards, you will only regret it.

As a meditator I take great interest in feelings and thoughts. As you may already know, the mind is the forerunner of any speech or physical action. That means we think about the negativity before we express it verbally or take physical action.

It's important to understand that all negativity is generated by the mind. So, we have to deal with the problem on the mental level.

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Meditation Makes You More Aware

The key is to become aware of your feelings and thoughts. Meditation is a great tool for that. This site offers free guided meditations. No previous experience needed, practice makes perfect...

The mind is really fast and a negative thought quickly manifests in the form of speech or physical action. Step by step, your meditation practice will enable you to change the pattern of habitually expressing your negative feelings and thoughts.

At first, you may only become aware of the negativity after you have already abused someone verbally or kicked something really hard. However, with practice you will be able to catch the negativity at an earlier stage.

This is made possible thanks to increased self-awareness. As you become more aware of your feelings and thoughts, it's our nature to do what is good and right.

The ultimate goal is to end the process at the level of feelings and thoughts. But you can stop the negative actions at any stage, as soon as you have become aware of them.

Life is beautiful when you don't hold on to and express negative feelings and thoughts. It's true inner freedom.

Best of luck!

Related:   Irritation And Anger   Acceptance   Love And Hate

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