Are You Emotionally Fit For A Relationship?

A few years ago I saw a personal ad submitted by a woman who was looking for an emotionally mature man. She was obviously tired of dealing with emotionally immature partners. I thought she skillfully penetrated the very heart of the matter. So, what does it take to be emotionally fit for a relationship?

If you are anything like me, you have experienced a handful of failing relationships due to shortcomings such as neediness, clinging and strong emotional reactions.

In this post we will take a close look at the ins and outs of emotions in relationships. Hopefully, these pointer will inspire you to work on yourself.

Why We Want Relationships

Doesn't it sound foolish to seek out a relationship because you are unhappy? May it be that you are depressed, lonely, unemployed or dissatisfied with life. Too many of us think that a relationship will fix everything for the better. It obviously doesn't work that way.

Remember that there is a reason why you are unhappy. That is where you should look for lasting change or healing if you like.

Two unhappy individuals that start a relationship are doomed to fail. Even if only one of you is feeling low, the other person is likely to say goodbye, since it's exhausting to be around someone who is always melancholic.

There are many reasons for looking for relationships. Some want to start a family or simply long for sex, while others are seeking lifelong companionship.

The Emotionally Mature Partner

An emotionally mature person doesn't overreact when plans change or things go wrong. For example, your partner cancels when you have planned to spend the weekend together.

It's much easier to accept negative changes when you are in emotional balance. What good is it to resist reality anyway? While the average person would moan and complain, for hours or days, as if it were the end of the world. Some overreact to the point where they even threaten to end the relationship over a minor issue.

Keep in mind that any negative reactions can be traced back to the ego. In other words, it's the ego that gets hurt.

Moreover, an emotionally mature person gives her partner freedom and space. That way you can spend time apart, which is an important ingredient in every healthy relationship. The opposite would be trying to control your partner and to get jealous whenever she is having fun with her friends.

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How To Develop Emotional Maturity

Strive to become aware of your personal preferences. That could be how you wash the dishes or what kind of vacations your like. Don't force your preferences upon your partner; instead, meet somewhere in the middle.

You should also become more aware of your feelings and thoughts. For that, meditation is a wonderful tool. Here you can download 3 guided meditations where I guide you through three different meditation techniques. The meditations are free of charge and you are always welcome to email me if you have any questions about your meditation practice.

With self-awareness it's possible to let go of negative feelings and thoughts. Emotional maturity is ultimately about accepting every moment as it is. In order to do that you have to be present and of course willing to let go.

I suggest you start with small things like when you accidentally spill water on a table, your clothes or on the floor. Do your best to accept it and let it go. Realize that it's pointless to resist what already is, which only leads to frustration, irritation and anger.

Then, you can move onto intermediate mishaps such as practicing whenever you miss a frequently running bus or train. Do your best to accept it, just let it go. Remind yourself that it's futile to resist life; rather, learn to flow with it.

Finally, it's about accepting what you would consider really important in life such as work, relationships or your car breaking down in the middle of nowhere. Do your very best to accept it, let it go and remind yourself that it's meaningless to resist the way life unfolds.

Regardless of the level of difficulty, remember that emotional maturity has a positive effect on your mental state and everyone around you. That makes emotional maturity a precious quality.

To find lasting happiness in your relationships, keep working on yourself...

Best of luck!

Related:   Emotional Maturity   True Love   Cheating In Relationships

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