It Hurts To Be Rejected |
What does it feel like to be rejected by someone you're attracted to? And what feelings and thoughts come up when your partner rejects you?
In this post we'll elaborate on these questions. You'll also learn skillful ways of saying no to someone who is interested in dating you, and how to give your partner caring attention.
But first, why do you want a relationship in the first place? And what do you hope to get out of it? Take a moment to think about it...
Most of us are looking for happiness, sex, love, good times, security, friendship and possibly to start a family. It's not easy to find a compatible partner. Keep in mind that it's not only about finding someone you like; the other person has to be attracted to you too.
Being in a relationship is not smooth like silk. In order to make it work, you have to give up the idea of getting everything your way.
In this post we'll elaborate on these questions. You'll also learn skillful ways of saying no to someone who is interested in dating you, and how to give your partner caring attention.
But first, why do you want a relationship in the first place? And what do you hope to get out of it? Take a moment to think about it...
Most of us are looking for happiness, sex, love, good times, security, friendship and possibly to start a family. It's not easy to find a compatible partner. Keep in mind that it's not only about finding someone you like; the other person has to be attracted to you too.
Being in a relationship is not smooth like silk. In order to make it work, you have to give up the idea of getting everything your way.
Can I Take You Out On A Date?
For many of us it's a big deal to ask someone out on a date. Perhaps you need some time to think it over: What should I say? What if he doesn't like me?
It's natural to have doubts. But you're in the wrong business, if you're not willing to take any risks.
Getting rejected really hurts and it also has a negative effect on your self-esteem. Remember that it can take years to find the right partner. Don't give up!
Let's say that someone you're not especially attracted to asks you out on a date. What would be a skillful way to say no thank you? That can be a tough one, since you don't have a chance to prepare yourself.
Don't forget to be considerate of the other person's feelings. It's nice to say something along these lines, “You're a great person, but I don't have feelings for you.” That's a friendly and honest reply.
Here is another way of saying no, "I value your friendship, let's stay friends." That's a beautiful combination of honesty and kindness.
It's natural to have doubts. But you're in the wrong business, if you're not willing to take any risks.
Getting rejected really hurts and it also has a negative effect on your self-esteem. Remember that it can take years to find the right partner. Don't give up!
Let's say that someone you're not especially attracted to asks you out on a date. What would be a skillful way to say no thank you? That can be a tough one, since you don't have a chance to prepare yourself.
Don't forget to be considerate of the other person's feelings. It's nice to say something along these lines, “You're a great person, but I don't have feelings for you.” That's a friendly and honest reply.
Here is another way of saying no, "I value your friendship, let's stay friends." That's a beautiful combination of honesty and kindness.
My Partner Rejects Me When He Is Busy
Once you're in a relationship it's a must to be considerate of your partner. You just can't have everything your way.
For example, if your lover disturbs you while you're really busy working on something, at least give her a few minutes. Attention makes us feel good. Besides, it's beneficial to take breaks every now and then.
Whatever you do, don't say, "I'm really busy, I don't have time right now."
It hurts to be rejected. It cuts like a knife and your partner will start to doubt that you really care for her. At the same time, just a few minutes of your attention can make her feel loved and cared for.
"Remind yourself why you're in a relationship and give it a high priority."
Often times we're not aware of rejecting someone until afterwards, when we see the sad facial expression. Whenever we don't like something, we try to get rid of it – that's why we reject people.
It's a nice gesture to apologize whenever you become aware of having rejected your lover. Likewise, find the right time to explain to him how it feels when he doesn't give you attention. Tell him how much he means to you, before you ask him to change.
Another example of when it's important to give attention is whenever your partner feels unhappy or is sick. That's a golden opportunity to show her how much you care. Make her something to eat and be as supportive as you can.
Being in a relationship is about giving and taking. It's always better to give too much than too little.
Best of luck!
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For example, if your lover disturbs you while you're really busy working on something, at least give her a few minutes. Attention makes us feel good. Besides, it's beneficial to take breaks every now and then.
Whatever you do, don't say, "I'm really busy, I don't have time right now."
It hurts to be rejected. It cuts like a knife and your partner will start to doubt that you really care for her. At the same time, just a few minutes of your attention can make her feel loved and cared for.
"Remind yourself why you're in a relationship and give it a high priority."
Often times we're not aware of rejecting someone until afterwards, when we see the sad facial expression. Whenever we don't like something, we try to get rid of it – that's why we reject people.
It's a nice gesture to apologize whenever you become aware of having rejected your lover. Likewise, find the right time to explain to him how it feels when he doesn't give you attention. Tell him how much he means to you, before you ask him to change.
Another example of when it's important to give attention is whenever your partner feels unhappy or is sick. That's a golden opportunity to show her how much you care. Make her something to eat and be as supportive as you can.
Being in a relationship is about giving and taking. It's always better to give too much than too little.
Best of luck!
Subscribe to axel g Newsletter for more quality articles and free products.
Related: Relationship Skills Feeling Needy Appreciating Others' Efforts
FREE Personal Dev Ebook
Feel free to share your experiences with me: axel (at) axelg.com
All Rights Reserved 2012 axelg.com
FREE Personal Dev Ebook
Feel free to share your experiences with me: axel (at) axelg.com
All Rights Reserved 2012 axelg.com