Fear Of Being A Failure

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We grow up with expectations and dreams, fears and shame. That's all part of the package we call cultural conditioning.

Are you afraid of being a failure? Everyone cannot succeed in life, some of us have to fail. That's the law of nature. In this article I'll share some of my personal fears and insights with you.

Expectations And Success

Success is an ideal in our culture. Your family and society expect it from you, which leads to fear of not being able to live up to their expectations.

What expectations of success do you have on yourself?

How important is it for you to succeed in life?

Who are you trying to please?

You know your stuff, but perhaps you haven't succeeded yet. You don't have a Ph.D from Harvard, but you think you're smart enough to make it.

Isn't it frustrating?

Why do you hunger so badly for success?

Do you want people to respect you and look up to you?

Is that what you yearn for?

Everyone wants to be special, that's human nature.

But what would it be like to wear simple clothes, eat simple food, have a simple job, live in a simple room and not be special in any way?

Could that possibly be liberating?

Of course. Freedom from expectations is most liberating.

All the pressures and expectations your family, friends, society and yourself place on your shoulders, make for endless anguish and stress.

If you do fail in the end, you'll be well aware of it. There won't be a need to remind you about the failure, since you'll live with it 24/7. As you already know, the fear of failing is deeply rooted in the human psyche.

But what is it that you really fear?

Not being able to live up to others' expectations. You don't want to be looked down upon, ignored and be called a nobody.

We do almost anything to belong, we want to be accepted, we want others to like us - it's that simple.

But who is the success for?

It's for yourself and them. You want to live up to the expectations and build a good reputation for yourself.

If your endeavors fail, don't blame yourself. Besides, you can experience lasting happiness without success altogether.

Leading A Meaningful Life

Here are some helpful questions you can ask yourself:

- Are you content with life?

- Are you healthy?

- Are you fulfilling your life's purpose?

- Do you have a meaningful job?

- Does success guarantee happiness?

- What is the meaning of life?

- What do you live for?

- Who are you trying to please?

- What are you trying to prove to yourself?

Some of you may say, "I want to prove to myself that I can make it in life." Go ahead and give it your best shot.

Be aware of your intentions though; what you do in life, how you do it and why you do it.

Grasping For Success

We all want to be successful in the eyes of the world. That's our nature. But what comes after the fame and success?

I can assure you that it feels pretty ordinary, at best.

But others are successful, special and famous so you also want a piece of the cake.

And what do you say when someone asks you what you do for a living?

You wouldn't tell them you're a nobody, of course not. You want them to think as highly of you as possible. On the other hand, you could always inflate your position and achievements.

But why play these mind games?

Don't let social status go to your head.

Dreaming Of Success

What is your ultimate dream in life?

To have a lot of money, cars, planes, yachts, young lovers, interesting friends, luxury villas, loads of servants and a private island? How about being really famous?

But isn't your life good as it is?

No, because of the lingering fear of being a failure. What would others think of you if you died before having achieved fame and success?

Deep inside you cry for attention like a little baby:

I want to be special!

See me, respect me!

Recognize my achievements!

That's all ego.

Let go of all of that and plant your feet firmly on the ground.

Learn to value what is true and real in life and don't give too much attention to appearances and opinions.

Life is not what it appears to be, life is what it is...

Best of luck!

Related:   Collective Fear   100% Success   Resisting Change

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