How To Stop Telling Lies

Is it okay to lie? How does it feel to be lied to? When was the last time you were reminded of the guilt and the negative consequences associated with getting caught out lying? Would you like to be called a liar?

What do you usually lie about? Take a moment to think it over.

In this post, we'll take a close look at why we tell lies, the disadvantages of lying, the advantages of being honest and finally how to stop telling lies.

The article has been structured with great care and features a lot of examples, for ease of understanding.

The bottom line is to encourage you to stop lying.

Why We Tell Lies

- To inflate the ego, get respect and seem more interesting. You may say, "I only fly first class and drive Mercedes" or, "I've traveled around the world many times."

- To exaggerate. If you spotted a harmless garden snake in your backyard, you tell everyone it was an aggressive cobra.

- To protect a secret or to cover something up. For instance, you don't want anyone to know that you are overweight because you eat excessively in the evenings, to suppress the anguish. So, you blame it on slow metabolism.

- To beat the competition. Imagine two women who have fallen in love with the same guy. Out of the blue, one of them utters that her father is a millionaire, in a desperate attempt to get his attention. Another example is two men who argue about politics. In the end, one of them fabricates the facts to win the argument.

- It's a habit. For instance, you have lied about your high school grades so many times that you do it automatically. You may not even be aware that you are lying while talking about it.

- To lie to get out of trouble. You have been pulled over by the police. The vehicle is uninsured, but you claim that you forgot the paperwork on the kitchen table. Lies like this may get you into more trouble.

- To get a lower price at the store. You say that you paid less for the item last time.

- To lie about your education and career. You tell strangers that you have two degrees or lie about your work experience at a job interview.

- To get accepted by a group. Most of the students in your class are from well-to-do families, so you say that you go on vacation with your family 2-3 times a year. Another example is the kid who wants to join a cool gang. He tells the leader that he shoplifts all the time.

- To avoid things you don't like. When your mom reminds you to clean your room, you say you have already cleaned it. Likewise, when your boss asks if you are done with the paperwork, you tell him it has almost been completed, even though you haven't started yet.

- To lie about your experiences. You are learning to play golf, but say that you have played for years. Another example is that you work as a German teacher. You have never been to Germany, yet you tell your students and colleagues that you studied there.

- To make a story funnier. You saw a guy on rollerblades fall over, but you tell everyone he had a shopping bag in each hand.

- To tell a white lie. You don't want to meet your in-laws, so you say that you can't make it to the birthday party because you have to work overtime. Another scenario is the stranger who asks really personal questions. Instead of being impolite and say, "Your questions are too personal," you simply make up the answers.

Whenever you get caught out telling a lie, don't be defensive; rather, admit it and apologize at once. That way, people are likely to give you a second chance.

Discover Your True Potential

                          A Highly transformative Free ebook

                          Free Email Support...

Download your FREE ebook Now!

Enter your email:

By signing up for the free ebook, you agree to receive occasional newsletters from axel g.
You can unsubscribe at any time...

The Disadvantages Of Lying

- It's dishonest, deceiving and immoral.

- Once you have lied, you will worry that someone will find out. Either they will figure it out themselves or learn it from someone else. To worry is an unpleasant mental state. You will also worry whenever you see that a person you have lied to, is talking to someone who knows the truth. In addition, you will worry that they will tell others about your lies, which may trigger a rumor. You will also worry that someone will approach you and ask you why you lied. They will most probably be angry with you and call you names. So, you plan your defense, which is an endless mix of unbelievable stories and excuses. Worrying like this makes for unpleasant mental states, not to mention when they actually confront you about your lies. Will you admit that you have lied or deny it altogether? Denial is likely to worsen the situation.

- You will feel bad about meeting the people you have lied to. The sheer thought of it, is an unpleasant mental state.

- It's shameful to get caught out lying. This is a very unpleasant mental state both for you and those who are close to you.

- People won't trust you and take you seriously. They will tell others that you are untrustworthy and that everything you say should be taken with a pinch of salt. They will call you a liar or even a compulsive liar. At the end of a conversation someone may exclaim, "I don't believe you!" These are truly unpleasant mental states. Trust is so fundamental in any human relations. What is the point of even talking to someone who doesn't trust you?

- You will feel guilty about having lied. This is an unpleasant state of mind.

- You will lose your credibility and get a bad reputation. Note that it's hard to rebuild this type of damage.

- You may lose your friends by lying, they may reject you. Then, all that is left for you, as far as friends go, are other liars and fools. This makes for unpleasant mental states.

- Lying is a dangerous game, it's really risky. Sooner or later the lies will catch up with you, which makes for unpleasant mental states.

- When you lie you will disappoint, anger and hurt people. As a result, they will most probably tell you off. These are highly unpleasant mental states.

The Advantages Of Being Honest

- People will value your honesty, which makes for pleasant mental states.

- People will trust you, which makes life pleasant and easy.

- Honesty will keep you out of trouble.

- You will not hurt or anger anyone with your lies.

- You will be taken seriously. Hence, you won't lose your credibility or standing in society.

- You will not be rejected by your friends.

- You will not feel bad about meeting people.

- You don't have to worry about getting caught out telling lies. Instead, you can focus on what is at hand.

- You won't feel ashamed about having lied.

- No one will ever ask you why you lied. That alone, is a great relief.

- You will never feel guilty about having lied. Honesty is a great way to avoid unpleasant mental states.

How To Stop Lying

It's quite difficult to stop lying. The strong urge to lie in combination with old habits or tendencies, make it a gradual yet life-changing process.

You can become a better person by simply being honest. All it takes is sincere intentions and motivation.

Here follows the basic steps to stop telling lies:

- Reflect on the disadvantages of lying.

- Contemplate the advantages of being honest.

- Realize that when you get caught out lying, you pay a high price.

- How will others think and feel when they find out that you have lied to them? Think about that.

- What can you gain by being honest?

- Start out with something that you often lie about. Ask yourself, why do I lie about it? Reflecting like this will deepen your understanding of your tendencies and drives. Reread Why We Tell Lies, at the top of the page for support.

- Your aim is to be perfectly honest at all times. Be especially alert whenever you talk to someone, which doesn't give you as much time to reflect as when you write a message.

- Sometimes you will remember to be honest while conversing. Other times you will realize, immediately after the conversation, that you just lied. Remember that it takes ongoing effort and practice to overcome old habits or tendencies. Always give yourself credit when you succeed, but never be hard on yourself.

- Continue to reflect on why you lie about certain things. Do you feel ashamed? Are you trying to cover something up? Opt to understand your needs, desires and ego tendencies. The more you contemplate, the better the results.

- Remember that every conversation and written message are opportunities to be dead honest.

- Bookmark this post and keep coming back to it. Repeat the basic steps over and over again, and real change will come your way...

It's truly liberating to be honest.

Find out for yourself!

Related:   How To Listen   Mental States   A Better Friend

axel g > General > How To Stop Telling Lies

All Rights Reserved ©2008-2016

Design by OS Templates